HAPPINESS
Because I play happy music (i.e. klezmer), people think I know about happiness. And I do. Here are some guidelines for more happiness:
- Wear shorts to a wedding. You’ll draw attention to yourself and away from the bride. Perfect.
- Invent a new colonoscopy flavor. Don’t do pineapple, cherry, lemon-lime or orange. These flavors have been taken. I’ll write up a story about you and submit it to the Wall Street Journal.
- Convert to Christianity (or Judaism). Why spend your life in one religion?
- Drop in on your neighbor and see what kinds of Smucker’s jelly they have. If they have Sugar Free Apricot, call the police.
- If you feel really bad, grip a pen horizontally in your mouth and bite down until the ink cartridge explodes. This activates the happy muscles in your face — the ones that make you smile.
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I had an essay in the Cleveland Plain Dealer on Sunday, “Strike up the (klezmer) bands for Ukraine.”
1 comment
By “colonoscopy” I hope you meant “pre-colonoscopy”….
How about spearmint?
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