SHUL SHLUB
During the Torah processional at synagogue, Cohen said to me, “That zipper on your shirt makes a nice tie. Metallic!” He shook his head. Cohen — a snappy dresser — wears a Brooks Brother suit, legit tie and vest. At home, Cohen collects clothes catalogs, like his men’s overcoat catalog from pre-World War II. Cohen once tried to sell me a bomber jacket. I said no. I can’t stand old Jews in bomber jackets.
He eventually sold the bomber jacket on eBay. “Same price you would have paid, Bert.”
“But you paid shipping.”
“No, that was an extra $12.50 to the buyer.”
Cohen kept looking at my zipper. I said, “I spray it with WD-40 to keep it shiny.” It had no name, not even YKK.
I just want to be comfortable at shul. I usually walk to shul — a major hike. I’m not trying to make a countercultural statement. The zipper shirt is the least of it. The rabbi often wears tennis shoes (for health reasons, I’m told). I’m not a complete shlub.
Cohen is a pseudonym
2 comments
Please give me Cohen’s real name so I can contact him. I want to see that pre-WW II catalog and shall probably order from it.
This jacket would probably suit a middle-aged Lutheran.
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