THIS UPCOMING REPRESSION
I’ll tell you one thing. I had this old car, couldn’t get it to do nothing. I pushed and pulled and beat on it. Then I throwed it over a cliff. I said, “Let’s throw over a car.” Me and my boys done it. My old lady was against it. She thought she was better than me.
She was something else. The biggest woman for churchgoing you ever seen, and full of crap. She wouldn’t eat things like, hey, meat. She was skinnier than a stick. Totally emancipated. And ornery. And when that heifer got a few bucks from her rich daddy, watch out. I didn’t dig her. She came at me with a mouth full of beer. Got all over me, the floor, and walls. She got claws. They all do.
There’s a lot of good-looking heads out there just waiting to nail you to the cross, I’ll tell you. She made me sick, just thinking of her. I got ferocious of the liver, and that’s a bad situation. Nobody comes between me and my beer. That broad tried.
It’s all in the numbers. I ain’t asking for much, just a little. This upcoming repression is going to be so bad it’ll shake your teeth loose. I want to be reborn the poodle of a rich lady.
[fake profile]
6 comments
Heifer is a female cow, not used to describe men. You’ve been watching TOO MUCH Tiger King!!!!
To Alice: I rearranged a sentence now, due to your comment, so “heifer” makes sense. Thanks for the editing!
This is later-day Ring Lardner. “Totally emancipated…” “….ferocious of the liver…” Yeah, ole Ring would be jealous.
Your tale appears to be the true to you, Bert. Nice “Pesachdiky” tone, too!
Speaking of “pesachdiky,” a happy and healthy Pesach to you and your family.
Your lady friend sounds like the one that’s planted upstairs.
Leave a Comment