BUGGED
Why do nursing-home administrators request peppy music from performers? Don’t some residents want to hear downer tunes?
Why do eyeglass-frame adjusters have so much power over us? Where did they all go to college? I.U.?
How come newspaper columnists don’t write about pet peeves anymore?
My wife took the electric toothbrush to Columbus, Ohio, on a business trip. The electric toothbrush is a permanent attachment to the dwelling, Alice.
Why does Zagara’s grocery store in Cleveland Heights sell only 12-packs of shabbat candles and not the 72-candle jumbo box?
What about those phone solicitors who ask for money for your kids’ alma maters? I’ve got my own alma mater to not give to.
Why do highly sensitive people insist on telling everybody they’re sensitive?
Why aren’t we nostalgic for mimeo machines? We should be!
Why do some Clevelanders brag about not reading the Plain Dealer? “I’ve lived in Cleveland 20 years and never subscribed to the PD.” Go back to New York.
If you want to talk about cars, ask first: “Do you want to talk about cars with me?” Same goes for sports and politics.
What is preferable: “He passed away” or “He passed”? Answer: “He died.”
Don’t let signs like the smith’s bug you.
6 comments
You asked for it, so here goes….
First, if one wants to comment in your blog, why does one have to click on a box that says “No Comments”? Dumb.
What’s a “downer tune?” Rachmaninoff’s “Prelude in C-Sharp Minor?” Stop performing at the Judsons if you don’t like preppy.
Let’s not put down employees of eyewear emporiums, please. The one who adjusts eyewear, like the one who checks out books in a library, may not exactly represent all staff’s educational achievements there, but try asking a Harvard professor to adjust your glasses properly….
“Electric toothbrush…attachment to the dwelling…” I don’t get it. However, the idea of taking a special toothbrush probably has to do with Alice’s toddler upbringing in that fair city.
Zagara’s saw you guys coming and removed the larger boxes – thinking the more expensive boxes would discourage any sale because you have a “cheap” reputation with those folks.
If “mimeo machines” are the ones with the good odor than we should not only be nostalgic but start using them again.
Anyone who brags about not reading the PD should be asked what he or she reads and why its superior? Doesn’t read anything? Too bad….
My mother couldn’t say “died” and used the term “passed away” – implying she had a special feeling for that individual, like a close relative. She avoided “died” regardless of who it was. Most of America said “died,” though many might have said “passed,” which I’m hearing more and more lately (perhaps popularized by blacks?). In recent years, however, I note many consider it sophisticated to use the phrase “passed away” regardless of who it is – e.g. newscasters and columnists in referring to everyone. For some reason, that tempts me to say “died” more often now – even for someone close.
Adding an “apostrophe s” is not necessarily wrong when one is referring to the plural of a proper name which could be confused as being a name which correctly ends with an “s.” You could also say “The Smiths’. These options clarify the family name does not actually end with an “s.” Cheesh; doesn’t everyone know that? And don’t forget the St. James’s district in London – particularly known for its
high-end, traditional men’s attire.
I see you don’t take the “Coshocton Tribune”: https://www.coshoctontribune.com/story/opinion/2014/08/09/column-pet-peeves/13797831/
Wow, this is the cranky Bert we all know and love! Kind of like the Jewish Dick Feagler.
And thank Mark Schilling for turning me on to the Coshocton Tribune and the fine columnist Robert Brem Jr.
I’m canceling my PD subscription forthwith!
“THE FOSTER’S”
Rage.
No pass for being in a foreign country, no!
Mike – Might as well move to Coshocton, too.
I bet a pet peeve of newspaper columnists is that fewer people are reading newspaper columnists.
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