Real Music & Real Estate . . .

Yiddishe Cup’s bandleader, Bert Stratton, is Klezmer Guy.
 

He knows about the band biz and – check this out – the real estate biz, too.
 

You may not care about the real estate biz. Hey, you may not care about the band biz. (See you.)
 

This is a blog with a gamy twist. It features tenants with snakes and skunks, and musicians with smoked fish in their pockets.
 

Stratton has written op-eds for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post.


 
 

GETTING LOUD
IN THE RESTAURANT

by Bert Stratton

My friend Brian eats out often and is finicky. If his fries aren’t crispy, he sends them back. Brian gets annoyed by cheese. He doesn’t like sharp cheese. If there’s a short pour on the wine, he gets upset.

Brian works the room [the restaurant] like a celeb when he eats out — mostly at places where his buddies are. When we ate at Club Isabella, Brian pointed out the doctors and dentists in the room. Brian said, “That’s the guy who does the dental implants. He runs the full-page ad in the Plain Dealer.”

I said, “When I visit you in California [where Brian lives half the year], you’ve got to do better than docs who do dental implants.” Brian said he would take me to L.A. restaurants where I’ll have a greater than 50-50 chance of spotting celebrities.

Brian likes to say goyim loudly to elicit a reaction from nearby diners. (Nobody reacts. It’s too loud. Nobody hears him.)slomak diining Brad

At Club Isabella, I suggested we out on the patio because it was quieter there, but Brian opted for the echo-chamber dining room. That night every happenin’ Jew in Cleveland was at Isabella’s. Brian worked the room: “How was Aspen, Sandy? . . . “How’s your tennis elbow, Jeff?”

I prefer Indian and Chinese restaurants, because they are usually quiet. I don’t like to suck cough drops and sip tea for weeks after nights out with Brian.

—
Brian is a pseudonym.

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3 comments

1 Ted { 07.18.18 at 9:19 am }

Nobody can escape the Bert Stratton treatment. Mike is a classic!

2 Ken Goldberg { 07.18.18 at 10:14 am }

Tsk – I’m a “happenin’ Jew and I don’t think I was there (at least I don’t think so)…. I know the “Brian” type. Shove his way a plate of soggy fries smothered with kosher cheese and topped with eight ounces of good kosher wine. BTW, I have some cough drops that are so effective it would only take a week.

3 Joey { 07.18.18 at 1:58 pm }

The odds of spotting a “celeb” in LA at an eatery on any given night are probably around 5%, 10% if you know the right place to go. The ratio of celebs to non-celebs in LA are not as high as people think.

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