AN ODOR OF GAS

To report an odor of gas, please call the East Ohio Gas Company (EOG).

Question: Has anybody ever donated to EOG?  On the monthly EOG bill, there is a space for voluntary contributions. Who gives to EOG?  EOG has an ego problem.

I give to EOG.  And it hurts.  I don’t give charity; I give dollars for heat.  Not-news  department . . . Cleveland has long cold winters.

Emily, a former tenant, asked if I would pay her $66.24 EOG bill, because she had moved and the gas company was still billing her for stove gas.

I wasn’t going to pay Emily’s bill.  I pay the apartment gas bill but typically not the tenants’ individual stove bills. I volunteered to call EOG for Emily.

EOG wouldn’t talk to me because I wasn’t Emily.  Fine.  I don’t enjoy talking to EOG.   This dispute was between EOG and Emily, EOG said.

Or maybe the dispute was between Emily and my new tenant, Elizabeth, who was possibly using Emily’s stove gas.

I told Emily I would call Elizabeth.

Elizabeth — the new tenant — said to me, “I’m in this apartment only three days a week. I use the toaster-oven and microwave.  I don’t even use the stove!  It’s off.”

Impossible, Emily told me.  And she added, “Somebody incurred a sixty-six dollar bill. It wasn’t me!”

But you can incur a $66.24 gas bill just by glancing at your stove, Emily.  There is something called a “basic monthly charge.”  Right now that charge is $19.63.

Emily wrote me several letters, the last one ending: “See you soon in court.”

I smelled an odor of gas.

I received a 25-page small-claims lawsuit.  Emily wanted her gas money back, plus double her security deposit, for a total of $1,150.71.

The magistrate, plus Emily, Emily’s dad and I, met in a hearing room at city hall.  The dad was OK; he parked next to me and didn’t “key” my car.

I had a letter from EOG, explaining who had service when and in who’s name.  I won because of that letter.  An EOG secretary  had done me a favor.  Her letter was not from the pre-approved letters’ templates, she explained.

Thank you, EOG.  I  pledge $___.  

How much should I give?  Double chai?

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[Goys only: Chai (life) equals 18.  Double chai is 36.]

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Please see the post below too.  It’s fresh.

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