MICHELLE HATES “MICHELLE”

I always read the seating placards at parties. I’m there first, so I know everybody’s names – all my old customers.  “Jon and Carol [Weinstein], how are you?” . . . I played your son’s bar mitzvah a million years ago and remember your names.

Also, I  write down the bride and groom’s names before I  introduce them.  That way I’m less likely to screw up.  I’ve never messed up, but once a guy in my band did.  He called the bride Mindy instead of Michelle, or something like that.  To remedy the situation he called out the tune “Michelle.”  The bride — named Michelle — made him stop the music cold.  She hated that song.

Volatile songs: “Sunrise Sunset” and “YMCA.” Songs from Fiddler on the Roof make some Jews nervous.  (Russian Jews love Fiddler; American Jews — at least klezmer aficionados — often hate it.  They think it’s not the real thing.  Hey, it’s been around 45 years.  It’s old-time music.)
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Tomorrow:
JEW OR NOT A JEW? . . . Puerto Rican Lesbian cage-fighting barber.

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